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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#imports #fish #perth #australia #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates
numbers
Correct article usage
the numbers
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 of local catches and
imports
Use synonyms
 of fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 into Perth
in
Change preposition
apply
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Australia for
ten-year
Add an article
a ten-year
the ten-year
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 period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 local catches were the dominant supplier of
fish
Use synonyms
 rather than
imports
Use synonyms
, and in 2009, there was the highest level of total ... Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local fishing, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
cathes
Correct your spelling
catches
 dramatically increased, reaching a peak in 2008, with over 8000 metric
tons
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, and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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 there was a sharp drop from 2009-2011. Fluctuation
Imports
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 were the least popular supplier of fresh
fish
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, accounting for less
20
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than 20
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%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total number of fresh
fish
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.
However
Linking Words
, the general trend
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gradually increased, starting from over 450 metric
tons
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 in 2004 and ending with 782 metric
tons
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 in 2014, with
a small exceptions
Correct the article-noun agreement
small exceptions
a small exception
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, where the numbers fluctuated in 2005, 2006, 2013 and 2014 years. The
imports
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 accounted for less than 20% of total fresh
fish
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.The highest number of fresh
fish
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 in Perth was in 2009 with almost 9 thousand metric
tons
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by aleskovamaria02 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words imports, fish, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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