The graph and chart below give information on the average daily and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities.

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities.
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In recent years, there
can be
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
seen
Correct your spelling
been
show examples
a rising trend of having surgery to improve the outer look of individuals.
This
Linking Words
can be
due to
Linking Words
the set
beauty
Use synonyms
standards, made by social
media
Use synonyms
and numerous commercialization done by
makeup
Use synonyms
industries. I believe that
this
Linking Words
can
put
Verb problem
have
show examples
dramatic effects on humans, making them feel uncomfortable, about their natural
beauty
Use synonyms
. Social
media
Use synonyms
and
beauty
Use synonyms
bloggers have set high
beauty
Use synonyms
standards that give inferiority complex to
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
beauty
Use synonyms
industries have gone crazy for selling their goods and services by putting up enormous advertisements to attract
people
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, there is a trend that has been set on social
media
Use synonyms
to have pointed noses and bold lips that
makeup
Use synonyms
surgeries made possible.
For example
Linking Words
, botox was the famous surgery for having bold lips, so girls with small lips go for it.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it became a trend, and
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
were conscious about their looks
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
got it done.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are fewer
people
Use synonyms
that praise the natural
beauty
Use synonyms
of
one
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
who follow the trends without thinking that it is going to suit them or not.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, our natural
beauty
Use synonyms
is the uniqueness
that is
Linking Words
gifted to us by God. I believe that appreciating
one
Use synonyms
's simplicity and
beauty
Use synonyms
is more essential
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than persuading them to have
makeup
Use synonyms
abscission.
Also
Linking Words
, if
one
Use synonyms
is having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
self-confidence in himself
then
Linking Words
no
one
Use synonyms
can make them feel uncomfortable about their looks. We should tell ourselves that we are perfect and beautiful, rather than listening to other
makeup
Use synonyms
influencers and surgeons.
As they
Correct word choice
They
show examples
are only promoting their business without the concerns that our faces can
also
Linking Words
be destroyed by failed surgeries. In conclusion, the main reason for
this
Linking Words
can be the numerous advertisements that are done by
makeup
Use synonyms
industries and the set
beauty
Use synonyms
standards on social
media
Use synonyms
by
beauty
Use synonyms
bloggers and
makeup
Use synonyms
artists. I firmly believe that it can have significant impacts on society making individuals feel more insecure and doubtful about their natural
beauty
Use synonyms
, which can cause more self-depreciation and stress among youngsters.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words beauty, media, makeup, people, one with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "set" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average daily maximum
  • average daily minimum
  • rainfall
  • degrees Celsius (°C)
  • anomalies
  • trends
  • geographic location
  • climate zones
  • seasonal changes
  • data representation
  • comparison
  • temperature range
  • weather patterns
  • statistical analysis
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