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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the different types of accommodation chosen by the British when they went on holiday in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the different types of accommodation chosen by the British when they went on holiday in 2010.
#bar #accommodation #british #holiday
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The diagrams indicate the different types of accommodation chosen by the
Bristish
Correct your spelling
British
 during 2010 of their self-catering, caravan, and hotel in four
religious
Replace the word
religions
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of each area most the
bristish
Correct your spelling
British
 religious prefer hotel and more
pupular
Correct your spelling
popular
 in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
. Looking into the details, the proportion of the
england
Change the capitalization
England
show examples
 was approximately 20 compared to the part of
scotland
Change the capitalization
Scotland
show examples
 that have been
rose
Change the verb form
rosing
rosed
show examples
 up 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 being choose by the
bristish
Correct your spelling
British
 of self-catering followed by northern
ireland
Change the capitalization
Ireland
show examples
 that has
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 or
rank
Wrong verb form
ranked
show examples
 exactly 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. It can be seen that 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the caravan people
were being choose
Change the verb form
were choosing
show examples
 rest during their time that rank the second highest was Northern
ireland
Change the capitalization
Ireland
show examples
 which the three
countries
Use synonyms
were have
Change the verb form
had
show examples
 under 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most of the four
countries
Use synonyms
 have been
chosing
Correct your spelling
choosing
chosen
 not to be camping outside
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the hotel that
rank
Change the verb form
ranks
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 exactly more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 50
percent
Use synonyms
 that
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 followed by the other three
countries
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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