The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 2005, 2010, 2015.

The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 2005, 2010, 2015.
The bar graph presented the
percentage
of school children practicing various musical instruments namely violin,
guitar
,
piano
and
drums
for 3 different years (2005, 2010, 2015).
Overall
, we can observe that the
guitar
and
piano
were the most popular among children with
constantly
Correct article usage
a constantly
show examples
increasing
percentage
of children.
Whereas
, the violin and
drums
had only a few
percentage
of
students
. The
percentage
of
students
involved in the
piano
and
guitar
were neck-to-neck. In 2005, the
piano
had
slightly
Add an article
a slightly
show examples
higher number of
students
but they both had around 12% of
students
. A similar trend was observed in 2010, with comparatively increased
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
in the total number of
students
involved.
Conversely
, in 2015, the
guitar
was in the lead , having around 41% of
students
involved in learning
guitar
.
Initially
, in 2005, the
drums
were in the
last
position among four musical instruments, as approximately only 5% of
students
displayed interest in learning
drums
. No change was observed in 2010, but it gradually made
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress and around 10% of
students
were enrolled in 2015. Unfortunately, the reverse case was observed in violin when compared to the trend of
drums
.
Submitted by swikritishrestha90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, guitar, piano, drums, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!