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Band 4

The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing?

#media #interest #people #backgrounds #lives
It is an undeniable fact that over the past
decades
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decades,
show examples
 people have
develop
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developed
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 higher interests in
celebraties
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 social and family life. The reason behind
this
 is numerous and
while
 others opine
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 a good thing, other people suggest it is not important. I strongly believe
its
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it's
show examples
 worth it and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will enumerate the reasons behind that in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, these well-known individuals serve as role models to a majority group and
hence
, the media must
published
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publish
show examples
 their stories.
For instance
, the national science and maths quiz mistress in Ghana is one of the most educated and learned
woman
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women
show examples
 in my country and my personal role model. I have read a
lot
 about her from the press because I want to be like her in the
nearby
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near
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 future and will like to follow
her
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in her
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 footsteps.
Secondly
, these stars serve as a sense of motivation. There
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot
 of television shows that host these personalities to talk about their life, how they started and how they were able to come
this
 far. With
this
, it really encourages the youngsters never to give up in life when there is a failure. To illustrate, I once watched an actress talk and that faithful day, I was feeling blue but after the show, I felt like been on the ninth cloud.
Moreover
, there are a
lot
 of new ideas the new generation can learn from them. In conclusion, these popular individuals in our cities can be our role models, they
also
 motivate us and
lastly
, we can learn a
lot
 from them. I strongly agree that the media should continue to showcase them ,
however
, they should live an
examplery
Correct your spelling
exemplary
examples
live
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life
show examples
 for the young
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 to follow.
Submitted by pretty on

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Task Achievement
The essay should have a clear introduction that introduces the topic and presents your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main point and supporting details.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use appropriate verb tenses.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebrity
  • ordinary backgrounds
  • interest
  • curiosity
  • fascination
  • escapism
  • entertainment
  • inspiration
  • motivation
  • identification
  • relatability
  • social comparison
  • envy
  • public interest
  • negative effects
  • excessive focus
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