The bar chart below shows the different types of accommodation chosen by the British when they went on holiday in 2010.
The bar chart matches the spending of time to assist children in Australia by dad and mom in 2013. Which involve these activities; dressing, homework, playing
games
and preparing for bed.
Overall
, the highest percentage was the dressing by mom. However
, the high rate which included both dad and mom was playing games
. While
the low one was the dressing activity by the father.
According to
the shape, the mother spends 70% of the time dressing the kids and there is a big difference between the father who consumed only 3%. In addition
, the homework exercise had a similar percentage with dressing but in a lower proportion.
Both parent and dad reached 70% for playing games
with children as the highest number consumed together. While
there was the same rate for preparing for bed but lower than playing games
.Submitted by maltobi08 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words games with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼