IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in1968 and in 2018

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in1968 and in 2018
#information #families #country #income
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The chart illustrates what families in one country spent weekly
income
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 1968 and in 2018. It depicts 8 different
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
:
food
Use synonyms
, housing, fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
,
household
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
, personal
goods
Use synonyms
, transport and
leisure
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of
spending
Add an article
the spending
show examples
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 change compared to 1968 and 2018,
while
Linking Words
household
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 show any difference.  In 1968, families spent 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of their weekly
income
Use synonyms
 on
food
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. 10% of expenses were used for housing and clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
. Fuel and power,
household
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
, transport,
Use synonyms
leisure
Correct word choice
and leisure
show examples
 were less than 10% of usage. In 2018, 23% of weekly
income
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 used for
leisure
Use synonyms
.
Food
Use synonyms
, housing and transport showed about 15 % of the
income
Use synonyms
 . Fuel and powder, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
,
household
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 and personal
goods
Use synonyms
 were spent less than 10% of that.
Food
Use synonyms
 took up the biggest expense In 1968,
while
Linking Words
 in 2018,
leisure
Use synonyms
 had the hugest demand.
However
Linking Words
,
household
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 showed the same amount of spending at about 8%.
Submitted by 0527.hibiki on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, food, household, goods, leisure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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