IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

The illustrations show the alterations which took place at Queen Mary Hospital since its constructions in 1960.

#illustrations #show #alterations #place #queen #mary #constructions
The illustrations show the alterations which took place at Queen Mary Hospital since its
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
 in 1960. In general, a comparison of the three illustrations
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 area for each building. In 1960, the Queen Mary Hospital was divided into equal areas, but during the next 20
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the hospital experienced a number of dramatic changes. The most noticeable is that
shopping
Correct article usage
the shopping
show examples
 centre was knocked down and
instead
 of was built cancer centre.
Moreover
,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 was the facility of a hospital near the
rightside
Correct your spelling
right
 of the cancer centre opened a pharmacy. As can be seen in 2000, only a hospital hasn't changed in the amount of area. The nursing school and the car park were cut in half
due to
 the development of the cancer
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Only
pharmacy
Correct article usage
the pharmacy
show examples
 and hospital
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: