The chart below shows the results of a survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK in 2007.

#results #survey #school #attendance #uk

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie chart draws the data

according to

a survey into the reasons for poor

school

attendance in

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

in 2007.

Overall

, 40% of

school

absenteeism is

due to

both working parents,

whereas

25% accounts

due to

Change preposition

for

show examples

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

school

discipline.

Rest

Correct article usage

The rest

show examples

of the 30% is because of peer group pressure and bullying among them.

Although

40% of poor attendance is

due to

both working parents,

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

25% is because

Change preposition

show examples

lack of

school

discipline.

Remaining

Correct article usage

The remaining

show examples

30% accounts for peer group pressure,

bullying

Correct word choice

and bullying

show examples

of the children,

whereas

bullying is one of the

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

accounting for about 5% of the total

due to

which there is

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of attendance of children.

Submitted by noorainfatima135 on Wed Oct 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to, whereas".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

111 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

attendance
survey
causes
parental involvement
bullying
safety concerns
academic performance
motivation
physical health
mental health
support
resources
students
peer pressure
influence
school environment
curriculum
transportation issues

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The chart below shows the results of a survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK in 2007.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.