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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

#people #time #history
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A large part of society shows agreement
on
Change preposition
with
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 the saying that
current
Correct article usage
the current
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time
Use synonyms
 is the most livable era if compared with the past. In my view of thinking, certainly in terms of peace, ease of life and technology, the present years are clearly winners over
history
Use synonyms
 for
living
Correct article usage
the living
show examples
 conditions of mankind.
However
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, the
time
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 before the
british
Change the capitalization
British
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 colonisation would be fascinating to experience.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 the vast advancement in technologies and industries, the quality of lifestyle has significantly increased recently.
Consequently
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, people are living happily with their close ones because smart machines have reduced manual intervention for operating and
therefore
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, employees are able to spend more free
time
Use synonyms
 with their family and friends.
That is
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 why, current days are the best days in the
history
Use synonyms
 of mankind.
Apart from
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this
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, the long period of peace is
also
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 an important factor
to sustain
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in sustaining
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 the livelihood of the world.
For instance
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, robots and artificial
intellegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 are revolutionising human lives by providing them the control of everything
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their hand in
such
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way
Correct article usage
a way
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 that they do not need to move a bit to order any complex task to these modern helpers and
hence
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, now is the best
time
Use synonyms
 to love in
history
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. Still, the golden era of
Indian
Use synonyms
civlilisation
Correct your spelling
civilisation
civilization
,
that
Correct word choice
which
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 mostly lies before the arrival of
British
Correct article usage
the British
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 or Mughals, could be the compelling one. Definitely, India was
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
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, fulfilled and progressive establishment
then
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, and most of the kings were generous,
intellengent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
 and appreciative
about
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of
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arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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.
Additionally
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, people were cheerful
as well as
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 highly skilled in the South Asian region, clearly the land was a golden ground for foreign traders. Living
in
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apply
show examples
there could bring the proud feeling of being the part of
welthiest
Correct your spelling
wealthiest
wealthier
 society
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the globe.
For example
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, The Maurya Empire was one the richest kingdoms of the
Indian
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 sub-continent and the king of
this
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 region was smart
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
 to protect the integrity of his realm. Recently an
Indian
Use synonyms
 prime minister Mr. Modi wished to live under the Maurya dynasty rule. In conclusion, the present timeline is likely to be amazingly good to live in the world on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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account of modern amenities and inventions by humankind. The ages
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
Indian
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 kingdoms were at their peak
time
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 must
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been an interesting era to love in
history
Use synonyms
 though.
Submitted by ravirajole on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your opinion on whether the current time is the best in history to be living. This will help to provide clarity to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger conclusion summarizing your main points and restating your opinion on the topic.
task achievement
Try to provide more examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and credible.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented
  • prosperity
  • technological advancements
  • global connectivity
  • longevity
  • opportunities
  • self-expression
  • renaissance
  • exploration
  • industrial revolution
  • roaring twenties
  • unparalleled
  • groundbreaking
  • transformative
  • revolutionary
  • epoch-making
  • flourished
  • transcended
  • innovations
  • distinguished
  • renaissance artists
  • explorers
  • innovative entrepreneurs
  • exhilarating
  • era
  • unforgettable
  • boom
  • vibrant
  • exuberant
  • transformed
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