Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, with the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
children
are allowed to use gadgets
such
as smartphones. Many teenagers
allocate
Verb problem
spend
show examples
most of their days on their smartphones.
A long
Correct article usage
Long
show examples
screen time
distract
Change the verb form
distracts
show examples
students from focusing when studying and barrier
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their social skills development. For me,
this
trend is totally harmful
for
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to
show examples
them. It is believed that gadgets
is
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are
show examples
an additional tool to support
children
to succeed academically. In fact, a lot of
students
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students'
student's
show examples
performance declined
due to
technological expansion. many students are not able to divide attention when studying because of
distraction
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distractions
show examples
from phones. My sister
for example
, after school time, she
suppose
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supposed
show examples
to do her homework directly, so that she can utilize her time in the evening to take a rest.
How ever
Correct your spelling
However
show examples
, she always finds it hard because she cannot refuse to scroll on Tiktok.
As a result
, her
overall
performance
decline
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declined
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to when she had no smartphone. Another cost of
gadget
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gadgets
show examples
is it has
limited
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limit
show examples
children
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children's
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interaction with
people
around them. In the past, we rarely found
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
kids
, because most of them were forced to interact with
other
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others
show examples
by playing or other social activities.
however
, nowadays the number of
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
children
is increasing and technology
deserved
Wrong verb form
deserves
show examples
to be blamed for
this
trend. Teenagers' interaction with
people
around
around
Remove the redundancy
apply
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them is limited
due to
comfy
Correct article usage
the comfy
show examples
feeling that they
received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
from playing with their phones.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
a result, many
kids
are not able to perform well in society
such
as feeling shy when meeting
people
or cannot speak in front of many
people
. In conclusion,
kids
using
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
could
cost
Verb problem
cause
show examples
a lot of disadvantages
such
as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of focus to study and slow development of social skills. Parents should take
this
issue seriously and forbid their
kids
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
using smartphones.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Expand on the reasons why children spend hours on smartphones.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
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grammatical range accuracy
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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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