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Band 5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Undoubtedly, hard work is the key
of
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to
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 success.
Hence
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,
this
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message
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 is given to young people that, if they are diligent, they are able to pursue anything they want. Teaching
this
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 to
children
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 has both
the
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apply
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benefits and drawbacks. In
this
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 essay, I will put forth both sides and elucidate them with rationales
along with
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 relevant examples. To embark upon
with
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apply
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the positive side, working hard is crucial for achieving anything. Giving
this
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message
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 to
children
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 is monumental
because of
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for
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 numerous reasons. First and foremost, it will make them industrious which may help them in their future lives.
For instance
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, they would study intensively
for acquiring
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to acquire
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 good results in school and after study, they will try hard to grab an expected job
instead
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 of bagging
a
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apply
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work from known people. Moving
further
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,
this
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message
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 will make the youngsters confident and determined as well.
As a consequence
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, they will never give up in their entire lives.
On the contrary
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, sending the given
message
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 to the
grown up
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grown-up
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children
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 has downsides.
To begin
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 with,
children
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 will be highly ambitious which may
deleterious
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be deleterious
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 for
themselves
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them
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. As an example, every year we get
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this
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apply
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news from
media
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the media
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 that some pupils
did
Verb problem
committed
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 suicide after receiving unsatisfactory academic results. Because
,
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apply
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 they are not strong enough to
except
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accept
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 failure after
giving
Verb problem
making
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effort
Correct article usage
an effort
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.
Moreover
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,
children
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 do not get
sufficient
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a sufficient
the sufficient
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 chance to enjoy childhood days because of devoting themselves to hard work.
To sum up
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,
children
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 are received
this
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message
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 that everything is achievable, if they try hard enough. Though there are plenty of advantages
of
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to
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 giving
children
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this
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 information, disadvantages cannot be denied which were aforementioned in
this
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 essay.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument.
lexical resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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