The diagram belows shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram belows shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
This
diagram represents the manufacturing
process
for making
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Sugar
is important for our daily use.
Overall
,the
sugar
cane is cultivated and harvested it is converted into
sugar
through various
process
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processes
show examples
. In detail, there are seven steps to convert
sugar
cane to
sugar
. The growing period of
sugarcanes
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sugarcane
show examples
is about 12 - 18 months periodically. Harvesting can be done by two methods
by
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apply
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mannually
Correct your spelling
manually
and by mechinal harvesting. Manual harvesting takes
long
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a long
show examples
time to
compelete
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complete
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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work
whereas
mechinal
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mechanical
machinal
harvesting takes less time to complete
his
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apply
show examples
work. After harvesting,
third
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the third
show examples
process
is sugarcanes are crushed and
they
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apply
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produce juice.The juice is been purified and
are
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apply
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filtered
it
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which
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is
fourth
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the fourth
show examples
step involved. The sugarcane juice is heated and it
becames
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becomes
became
syrup. It is evaporated.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
method is centrifuge
it
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which
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means
separates
Wrong verb form
separating
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sugar
crystals from
syrup
Add an article
the syrup
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.
Last
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The last
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process
is drying and cooling here
sugar
is ready. From
this
, sugarcane is manufactured within a period of
18months
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18 months
and
produce
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produces
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sugar
for daily usage. There are
millions
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millions of
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tons of
sugar
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
produced from sugarcane. People consuming
sugar
in large
quantity
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quantities
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will cause
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
health problems.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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