IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked there or four days per week rather than five or six week days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #employees #four #week #five #six #answers
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Some people assert that working for three or four
days
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 a week would be advantageous for employees rather than five or six
days
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. With the advances in working methods,
this
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 is possible to do and it will have a few positive impacts which will be discussed in the following paragraph
To begin
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, some areas are applicable to
this
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idea
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,
for instance
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, the creative field or financial field could be done automatically by tools and technologies. The
workers
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 in these areas are not necessarily to come to the office five
days
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 a week. They just need to monitor the process from the computer.
Next,
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the
idea
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 of cutting the working
days
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 could prevent employees from suffering fatigue. Daily habits of commuting to the office, doing regular tasks, and facing some political problems are indeed exhausting. The more rest they have, the more stress will be released, and
as a result
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, they have a higher quality of health.
Moreover
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, happy
workers
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 will produce creative work. Since their brain is not pressed, they are able to get unique and fresh ideas.
This
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 not only benefits the
workers
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,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 the whole society that consumes their results of work.
However
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, I argue to apply
this
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idea
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 to certain industries
such
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 as medical and retail businesses. These services must be available whenever people need them,
otherwise
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, the community will collapse. In conclusion, shortening the working
days
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 will improve the quality of
workers
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 and the produced goods. But, some substantial industries must be excluded from
this
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idea
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by erniwbs on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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