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Band 5.5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
It is often argued that
the
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apply
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governments should allocate more funds
on
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to
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education
 than
leisure
 and
sports
activities
. I completely disagree with
this
 opinion and think that funds allocated
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 recreation and
sports
activities
 are more important than
education
. First of all, I believe that soft
skills
 could be developed through
leisure
 and
sports
activities
. Soft
skills
 are the key factors in
education
 that cannot be taught by a lesson. The only way to develop soft
skills
 is by providing the opportunity to deal with
leisure
 and
sports
activities
.
For example
, students who actively do
sports
 were relatively good in their studies compared to others
according to
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 surveys performed in the United States. That’s why it is more important to invest more money
on
Change preposition
in
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 recreation and
sports
activities
 than
on
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in
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education
.
Secondly
,
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 needs an educated workforce with
a
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apply
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good health.
Otherwise
, the government will have to spend more money on health services rather than investing it
on
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in
show examples
education
 or
leisure
activities
. Health professionals suggest that these
activities
 are the main factors which help
the
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apply
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people to be healthy.
For instance
, some researchers illustrated that the countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 spent more on
education
 failed to
surview
Correct your spelling
survive
 in the economic competition
due to
lack
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a lack
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 of
healthy
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a healthy
show examples
 workforce.
Thus
, the investment
on
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in
show examples
leisure
activities
 overweight
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that the government should spend more funds on recreation and
leisure
activities
 than
education
. Because those
activities
 could help the people to develop their soft
skills
 and to be a healthy person.
Submitted by kavindagehan17 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a logical manner.
lexical resource
Improve your range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
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