Some people think that students should play more teams sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individuals sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree?

There are people who believe that students should prefer collective
sports
to individual
sports
. There are some advantages……… I agree with part of
this
idea. I believe that depends on the age of the students which we are talking about. For those students that are in childhood
yet
Rephrase
apply
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, I strongly agree because in
this
part of
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
it is very important to develop some skills
such
as empathy, cooperation, and communication,
for example
. When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children start to go to school, normally they are selfish and bossy, so
teams’
Change noun form
teams
show examples
sports
could help to change
this
behaviour and make the kids more sociable. Some situations in
sports
like football or soccer could prepare the players for a range of situations that will be useful later in adult life.
For example
, when everybody on the team must make a defensive movement
all together
Replace the word
altogether
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to take the ball back, or in an
attack
Change the verb form
attacking
show examples
play, when only one player must kick a penalty to score the goal, and the team needs to know who the best kicker for
this
situation is.
However
, for teenagers, I think the
individuals’
Change noun form
individuals
show examples
sports
are more suitable because, in
this
kind of activity, the student can develop more skills like concentration, resilience, and focus, which are important features for success in their professional lives. Indeed, their character is already done, and it is necessary to learn other skills. In individual
sports
such
as swimming, the only challenge is to beat your own limits, and the results just rely on yourself.
Overall
, I think all types of
sports
are important, depending on the stage of life.
Submitted by fmulato on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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