The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.

#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years

The

given

Verb problem

apply

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bar chart demonstrates how the donations among different

aged

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

people

changed in Britain in 2010 compared to 1990.

Overall

, there was a decreasing trend in giving money to

charity

in Britain for

population

Add an article

the population

a population

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who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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aged from 18 to 50,

while

individuals over 50 illustrated

gradual

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a gradual

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increase in two decades. The most striking feature of the chart is about 42% of

people

aged 36-50 made the

most

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apply

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largest

charity

among

British

Correct article usage

the British

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population in 1990.

However

, after twenty years

this

figure lost

dominating

Correct pronoun usage

its dominating

show examples

position, and

its

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showed a decrease of around 7%. At the same time, the lowest percentage did young individuals,

dropping

Wrong verb form

dropped

show examples

from about 17% to 6%.

In addition

, adults from 26-30

also

reduced giving money to

charity

throughout two decades.

Finally

this

trend was converse for

people

aged over 50. Namely, approximately 38% of

people

aged 50-65 started to give money to

charity

while

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

over 65 increased

donation

Fix the agreement mistake

donations

show examples

from around 32% to 35%

Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on Thu Oct 19 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, charity with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

156 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.

should human adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point.

Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themselves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What's your opinion? Use specific reasons to support your answer

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.