Some people think that computers are more of a hindrance than a help in today's society. Others believe that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Throughout the first decade of the new
millenium
Correct your spelling
millennium
, never has the debate between technology
prononents
Correct your spelling
proponents
and their opponents subsided.
While
some assert that
computers
are an integral of human society, without which the world as we know will fall apart, others think
otherwise
because
computers
to them are no more than a nuisance. Engrained in
this
essay is
an
Correct article usage
the
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idea that
computers
are a double-edged sword and it is up to the user to determine whether
this
innovation is of interest to humanity or not. Some express a valid concern that human interaction can be severely compromised by technology. Face-to-face communication, which has, for the most part of human history, been the dominant medium of information acquisition and dissemination, is now defied by
computers
and
its
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their
show examples
applications.
For example
, children would rather spend more time playing around with games notoriously designed to be additive,
such
as Fortnite, than with their parents. If
this
example is self-insufficient,
then
another one about how the balance between work and private lives of many young adults
have
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has
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been
aggresively
Correct your spelling
aggressively
violated by Skype or the
likes
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like
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should suffice. These individuals share an ill-fated life with excessive computer interference and
thus
, fail to engage in adequate communication with their loved ones.
Therefore
, the
predication
Correct your spelling
prediction
show examples
that
computers
undermine human bonds is, without doubt, validated.
However
, for many, a world without the advent of
computers
would have gone down an irreversible downward spiral because their absence would inconvenience numerous aspects of life and impede progress.
For instance
, contracts would still have to be printed out, mailed over and signed by both parties before a project was to be initiated, which not only took months, if they were situated in different countries
,
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apply
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but
also
involved plethoric bureaucracy. The
exsistence
Correct your spelling
existence
of
computers
makes
this
unbearable hassle a matter of seconds.
This
is
also
how many billionaires in their 20s are exploiting the power that the Internet bestows on them to create solutions to previously
unsolveable
Correct your spelling
unsolvable
problems and make a fortune out of them. Not only do
computers
heavily incentivise many fields in an economy
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to proliferate
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proliferate
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to proliferate
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, but they
also
encourage people to extend beyond their conventional boundaries to execute tasks
unimaginable
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unimaginably
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. In conclusion,
computers
are far from either beneficial or detrimental because they are only a contrivance designated to serve human beings to implement their tasks. Giving them credit or
condeming
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condemning
them
of
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for
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hindering human progress is deviating from the core problem. It is
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
who should decide the fashion in which
this
invention is to be employed.
Therefore
, as responsible human beings, we need to face the harsh truth and blame ourselves for being affected by soulless objects.
Submitted by thanhlampham911 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and could be improved by clearly stating the two opposing opinions and the writer's stance.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from a stronger thesis statement that clearly presents the writer's opinion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be more conclusive and provide a clear perspective.
grammatical range accuracy
There are some minor grammatical errors that can be corrected.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hindrance
  • indispensable
  • over-reliance
  • privacy breaches
  • productivity
  • global communication
  • vast amounts of information
  • efficiency
  • connectivity
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