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Band 6.5

The graph below shows the alcohol-related deaths in 7 different countries and the average beer consumption in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting description of the correlation of the table that follow. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the alcohol-related deaths in 7 different countries and the average beer consumption in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting description of the correlation of the table that follow. Write at least 150 words.
#deaths #countries #beer #consumption #summarise #information #description #correlation
The graph provides information on the death rate related to alcohol around the world in seven different countries in 2005
as well as
 the average consumption of beer in 2002.
Overall
, it is evident that the highest amount of
deaths
 was registered in the
Czech
Republic
together with
 the highest consumption of beer.
Furthermore
, alcohol-related
deaths
 were more popular among men than women in all of the countries. On top of the ranking are the number of
deaths
 in the
Czech
Republic
, which were significantly higher than for other countries
as well as
 the amount of litres consumed per capita indicated to be the highest.
In addition
, the highest amount of
deaths
 among women were registered there.
Conversely
, among men, the highest rate was seen in Germany, which was the second highest in terms of
deaths
 with more than a million. In Austria, numbers were lower,
however
, the consumption of beer was indicated to be above 100 litres similar to Germany, the
Czech
Republic
 and Ireland.
Nevertheless
,
deaths
 in Ireland were only half of those in the
Czech
Republic
. In terms of the lowest rating, it was registered in Lithuania with just above 100
thousand
Correct your spelling
100,000
deaths
, respectively, following the 382 thousand
deaths
 in Estonia.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words deaths, czech, republic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "indicated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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