Many high street shop have gone out of business in recent year . Why do you think this has happened ? is it a positive or negative development?

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It is no longer uncommon to witness that high street stores which used to be an unbeatable contender of the global market are now struggling to maintain their business.
This
essay points out their volatile business model as the major culprit behind their demise,
as well as
asserts that their disappearance is beneficial for the world economy. Many high street shops face forced closure because the niche market in which they operate does not cater for the majority.
However
, insanely profitable each sold unit is, their total revenues are still fairly limited, compared to their
mass market
Add a hyphen
mass-market
show examples
counterparts. Concrete evidence of
this
can be seen in the top 10 most influential companies in the world, inclusive of Walmart- a supermarket chain , but not of any luxury company,
Furthermore
, not only are their total earnings restrictively small, but their costs for marketing,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
celebrity endorsement, can occupy a significant portion in their already stretched budgets.
This
combination allows little room for them to research and develop their products, thereby failing to
allure
Verb problem
lure
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new customers.
This
reduced prospect
further
exacerbates their already tiny pool of clients, which ultimately leads to many of them encountering predictable bankruptcy. Their closure,
however
, is indicative of optimism because
cashflow
Correct your spelling
cash flow
show examples
will now be poured into sectors that provide actual support to the economy. It is universally accepted that prices of luxurious items are not only astronomically inflated, but they
also
add no realistic value to the world. Under a theoretical scenario in which these enterprises all died out, money would
instead
be shifted towards education
,
Remove the comma
apply
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or technology. With
such
resources, new schools could be constructed,
revolutionary
Correct word choice
and revolutionary
show examples
technologies which could save people from incurable diseases could be invented. Compared to a handbag which costs 1 million dollars but
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
the same value as its
10-dollars
Correct your spelling
10-dollar
counterpart, a 1-million study of
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
vaccine should be of greater importance to the entire humanity. In conclusion, the destruction of high street shops
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
owing to their business model, but
this
is a positive phenomenon. With their demise comes the strong development of socially important sectors
such
as education or technology, which is a solid indicator of a healthy economy.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs have clear topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
Include some examples or evidence to support your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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