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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the line graph shows the changes in the populationes of six different areas of the world bwtween 1960 and 2010.

the line graph shows the changes in the populationes of six different areas of the world bwtween 1960 and 2010.
#line #changes #populationes #six #areas #world #bwtween
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The chart
illustations
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 six
areas
Use synonyms
 of the
global
Replace the word
globe
show examples
 between 1960 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
figer
Correct your spelling
figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
rise
rose
 between 1960 and 2010, but only two
areas
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
stabled
Replace the word
stable
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
south
Use synonyms
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
 was
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
 dramatically compared to other
areas
Use synonyms
. In1960, the number of
populations
Use synonyms
 in Europe & Central and South
Asia
Use synonyms
 was similar around 750
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 but after next years, South
Asia
Use synonyms
 had a significant increase so the
people
Use synonyms
 who
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 area was more than
Europe
Change preposition
in Europe
show examples
 & Central
Asia
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, by 2000, the
populations
Use synonyms
 in
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East and North Africa had a gradual rise
while
Linking Words
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 higher than
North
Change preposition
in North
show examples
 America
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
Use synonyms
populations
Change the noun form
population
show examples
 area. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
,
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1960
to2010
Correct your spelling
to 2010
, the
Eact
Correct your spelling
East
Asia
Use synonyms
 &
Pacitic
Correct your spelling
Pacific
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 always highest
populations
Use synonyms
 compared to
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 six
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by chien10955 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, areas, asia, populations with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 3 times.
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