The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts compare different factors affecting the happiness of two age groups, which are under and above 30 years old. Overview, work accomplishment and doing hobbies are two common reasons making

people

Use synonyms

of all ages happy.

While

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

aged under 30 cares more about their appearance, the other group focuses more on their financial capability.

To begin

Linking Words

with, work achievement is what makes

people

Use synonyms

happy the most, accounting for over 30% of all

indivduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

taking part in the survey.

This

Linking Words

is followed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enjoyment when doing hobbies, which makes up

Change preposition

apply

show examples

22% and 24% of

people

Use synonyms

below 30 and above 30, respectively.

However

Linking Words

, these two groups of age

also

Linking Words

have different concerns that can impact their happy feeling. Appearance and travelling are important to individuals under 30, accounting for 18% and 15%.

In contrast

Linking Words

, 20 % of

people

Use synonyms

aged over 30 think that financial security and 14% of them consider being able to spend time with family make them happy.

Submitted by duongngocminh260801 on Thu Oct 19 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

162 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

survey
age groups
responses
happiness factors
participants
contribute
compare
patterns
differences

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The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

: All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades, To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your houselflat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter explain the reasons for the noise apologise describe what action you will take

in some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.