The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts compare different factors affecting the happiness of two age groups, which are under and above 30 years old. Overview, work accomplishment and doing hobbies are two common reasons making
people
Use synonyms
of all ages happy.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
aged under 30 cares more about their appearance, the other group focuses more on their financial capability.
To begin
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with, work achievement is what makes
people
Use synonyms
happy the most, accounting for over 30% of all
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
taking part in the survey.
This
Linking Words
is followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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enjoyment when doing hobbies, which makes up
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
22% and 24% of
people
Use synonyms
below 30 and above 30, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, these two groups of age
also
Linking Words
have different concerns that can impact their happy feeling. Appearance and travelling are important to individuals under 30, accounting for 18% and 15%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 20 % of
people
Use synonyms
aged over 30 think that financial security and 14% of them consider being able to spend time with family make them happy.
Submitted by duongngocminh260801 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • age groups
  • responses
  • happiness factors
  • participants
  • contribute
  • compare
  • patterns
  • differences
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