The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #results #survey #people #age #groups #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts compare different factors affecting the happiness of two age groups, which are under and above 30 years old. Overview, work accomplishment and doing hobbies are two common reasons making

people

of all ages happy.

While

people

aged under 30 cares more about their appearance, the other group focuses more on their financial capability.

To begin

with, work achievement is what makes

people

happy the most, accounting for over 30% of all

indivduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

taking part in the survey.

This

is followed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enjoyment when doing hobbies, which makes up

Change preposition

apply

show examples

22% and 24% of

people

below 30 and above 30, respectively.

However

, these two groups of age

also

have different concerns that can impact their happy feeling. Appearance and travelling are important to individuals under 30, accounting for 18% and 15%.

In contrast

, 20 % of

people

aged over 30 think that financial security and 14% of them consider being able to spend time with family make them happy.

Submitted by duongngocminh260801 on Thu Oct 19 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

162 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

survey
age groups
responses
happiness factors
participants
contribute
compare
patterns
differences

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The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Most people think that truth should be objective rather than subjective when it comes to news. Do you think all news true? What is the function of newspaper?

nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and trearments instead of visiting their doctors.do think this is a positive or negative dvelopment?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (rewrite)