People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and traditions of the new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #customs #traditions #country

society move to another

provincial

Replace the word

province

show examples

by following for different purposes in life.

And there

Correct word choice

There

show examples

is an opinion that the culture of a new agrarian should be followed by all individuals who want to live in that place. I agree with

this

statement because it shows respect to the

nation

and helps to familiarize with the surroundings. Respecting the customs is the same as respecting the bucolic. In a new place, you are the one who decides what to do,

therefore

by following customs and

ethic

Fix the agreement mistake

ethics

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community

Add an article

the community

show examples

around can see your attitude toward them and toward their

nation

as well.

For example

, easter is celebrated in the USA and

following

this

custom can increase the positive attitude of society

due to

sincere respect for

ethic

Fix the agreement mistake

ethics

show examples

Furthermore

, performing national culture provides fast adaptiveness to the new place. As all

practice

Fix the agreement mistake

practices

show examples

are the heritage of hundreds of countries, following them could maintain the understanding of the history, mentality and values of a

provincial

Replace the word

province

show examples

. The eastern tradition Nauryz is a great example of a custom that reflects the

nation

's values and

nation

which can help to familiarize with a new society and environment.

To conclude

, it is highly recommended to

community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

who moved for a long term life to perform the other rustic's ethic,

due to

being respected and to be familiarized with the new environment

Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Thu Oct 19 2023

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task achievement

Provide a clearer and more specific thesis statement in your introduction.

task achievement

Include more supporting details and evidence to strengthen your main points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical progression of ideas and develop them more fully.

coherence cohesion

Include a summary of your main points in the conclusion.

lexical resource

Use more varied vocabulary and expressions.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar errors.

Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural assimilation
integration
traditions
customs
identity
diversity
tolerance
heritage
intercultural
enrichment
alienate
segregate
dialogue
uniformity
assimilate

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People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and traditions of the new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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Some exploration is too expensive and money should be spent on more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.