IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that technology has led to many positive developments in their lives, while others think technology is gradually taking over control of the way people live. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology #developments #lives #control
Nowadays new technologies
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial part of our
lives
. Some
people
 argue that technological advancement
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed their
lives
 positively, at the same
time
 others feel that technology
start
Wrong verb form
has started
show examples
 to control their
lives
. In
this
 essay, I will overview both opinions and give my own in the conclusion.
To begin
 with, technological developments
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 to make
people
's
lives
 easier. Currently, it is hard to realise our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 without computers and smartphones .
For example
 , three or four decades earlier
people
 couldn't imagine communicating with
people
 from different countries
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be so easy , but for modern
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 it is nothing special.
Also
,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of home gadgets helps
housewife's
Change noun form
housewife
show examples
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 their
time
 and energy and spend
this
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
self treatment
Add a hyphen
self-treatment
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 still have an opinion that new technologies have a negative influence on our lifestyle
,
Correct word choice
and, moreover
show examples
moreover
, control it.
This
 is because today more and more individuals, especially youngsters, spend their
time
 online , rather than
communicationg
Correct your spelling
communicating
communication
 in real life.
Population
Add an article
The population
show examples
 are influenced
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
information
Add an article
the information
show examples
 they see or read
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media . Some items , like washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 or vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 are now vital. Individuals become addicted
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
, In conclusion,
although
people
 today became dependent
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some technological items, my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
 is that there are more positive aspects , like convenience and
time
-saving, than negative. It is a personal choice of everyone ,
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
 gadgets to make our life easier , or be controlled or addicted.
Submitted by tatjana040792 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: