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Band 4.5

In modern life, it is no longer acceptable to use animals as food or in other products, like clothing and medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #animals #food #products #medicine
Nowadays, it is
unacceoptable
Correct your spelling
unacceptable
acceptable
 to use
animals
 as a meal or in other items,
such
 as clothes and treatment. In my opinion, I partially agree that
creatures
 must enjoy life without being killed.
However
, depending on plants will
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 issues
such
 as
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 protein diet. On the one hand,
animals
 should have the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to live free. Each country must invest in products
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 friendly
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
animals
. Globally there
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many
farms
that
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 designed to slaughter
animals
, and each farm at least
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 thousands of
creatures
.
Therefore
, many types of
animals
such
 as chickens, sheep and cows are only living to provide food or items. Personally, building big
farms
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 for
salughtering
Correct your spelling
slaughtering
cow
Fix the agreement mistake
cows
show examples
 or chickens or any other kind is a bad thing, and governments around the world should be responsible for closing these types of
farms
.
On the other hand
,
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
show examples
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 products will cause
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of material. Every
items
Change to a singular noun
item
show examples
 around us is made from different kinds of
creatures
 including nutrition. Eating only vegan food will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 our bodies in the long term, as humans we need
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
 sources to gain
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
energy.
Protien
Correct your spelling
Protein
 can be found in any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of meat. In my viewpoint, killing
animals
 for food is not a bad thing as long as the amount of killed
creatures
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not high. In the end,
governemts
Correct your spelling
governments
 around the world must prevent big
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
farms
 because they have the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to live without being killed.
However
, our bodies require
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
 which
found
Add a missing verb
is found
show examples
 in the meat of the
animals
.
Submitted by ibrakh80 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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