people nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In our
midern
Correct your spelling
modern
society
Add a comma
society,
people
are strongly focused Use synonyms
in
their jobs to get Change preposition
on
a
expensive or interesting things for Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
them
. It may Correct pronoun usage
themselves
seems
to be that because of Change the verb form
seem
this
materialism community will Linking Words
lost
their traditional values but it will be better to live. I agree that Change the verb form
lose
be lost
people
may forget the principles and Use synonyms
also
agree that it will be Linking Words
more easy
to live, so in Replace the words
easier
Add an article
an essay
the essay
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will provide arguments to show why Change the capitalization
I
i
agree.
Change the capitalization
I
Firstly
, Linking Words
i
want to say that it is really not hard to Change the capitalization
I
lost
yourself in pursuit Change the form of the verb
lose
to
Change preposition
of
money
. ThereUse synonyms
a
lot of examples when Add a missing verb
are a
person
Add an article
the person
a person
that
was a very happy and Correct pronoun usage
who
a
kind person but Correct article usage
apply
due to
Linking Words
money
lost Use synonyms
a
humanity. Remove the article
apply
Moreover
, there may be Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
that
will kill Correct pronoun usage
who
hurt
someone for just Correct word choice
or hurt
a green papers
. Correct the article-noun agreement
green papers
a green paper
This
Linking Words
cause
from Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
obsess
to Replace the word
obsession
money
. Use synonyms
However
, there are special Linking Words
type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
people
that want to Use synonyms
proof
that they are better.
As we can see now, there are families that suffer from poorness and it is Replace the word
prove
such
a huge problem nowadays. Despite the fact that Linking Words
i
mentioned Change the capitalization
I
about
the dark side of Change preposition
apply
money
, of Use synonyms
course
cash Add a comma
course,
give
you Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
live
in abundance. Replace the word
life
In other words
, you need to work hard to receive enough Linking Words
money
for Use synonyms
yourself's
or your Unnecessary verb
yourself
families
comfortable life
Change noun form
family's
To conclude
, it is nice to work hard and be rich but you should not Linking Words
to lost
your humanity in Verb problem
lose
way
to receive Add an article
a way
the way
a
Remove the article
apply
money
. Namely, everybody Use synonyms
responsible
Add a missing verb
is responsible
to
their behaviour and work.Change preposition
for
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task response
Your essay should clearly state your position on the given statement and provide clear arguments to support your stance. Ensure that you address both sides of the issue and include relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You need to work on structuring your essay in a more organized and logical manner. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that your ideas flow cohesively from one to the next.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.