people nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In our
midern
Correct your spelling
modern
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
people
are strongly focused
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their jobs to get
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
expensive or interesting things for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. It may
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
to be that because of
this
materialism community will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
their traditional values but it will be better to live. I agree that
people
may forget the principles and
also
agree that it will be
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
to live, so in
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will provide arguments to show why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree.
Firstly
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
want to say that it is really not hard to
lost
Change the form of the verb
lose
show examples
yourself in pursuit
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
money
. There
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot of examples when
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
was a very happy and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kind person but
due to
money
lost
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
humanity.
Moreover
, there may be
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
will kill
hurt
Correct word choice
or hurt
show examples
someone for just
a green papers
Correct the article-noun agreement
green papers
a green paper
show examples
.
This
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
from
obsess
Replace the word
obsession
show examples
to
money
.
However
, there are special
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
people
that want to
proof
Replace the word
prove
show examples
that they are better. As we can see now, there are families that suffer from poorness and it is
such
a huge problem nowadays. Despite the fact that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
mentioned
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the dark side of
money
, of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
cash
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
you
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
in abundance.
In other words
, you need to work hard to receive enough
money
for
yourself's
Unnecessary verb
yourself
show examples
or your
families
Change noun form
family's
show examples
comfortable life
To conclude
, it is nice to work hard and be rich but you should not
to lost
Verb problem
lose
show examples
your humanity in
way
Add an article
a way
the way
show examples
to receive
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
. Namely, everybody
responsible
Add a missing verb
is responsible
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their behaviour and work.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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task response
Your essay should clearly state your position on the given statement and provide clear arguments to support your stance. Ensure that you address both sides of the issue and include relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You need to work on structuring your essay in a more organized and logical manner. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that your ideas flow cohesively from one to the next.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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