IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

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People from different countries face
with
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apply
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various health issues
due to
Linking Words
 eating
Rephrase
too
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much
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
. Many states claim that raising
taxes
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 on fast
food
Use synonyms
 may have positive returns .
This
Linking Words
 essay will completely
concurs
Correct subject-verb agreement
concur
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because higher
taxes
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 on
Correct article usage
apply
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an
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apply
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unhealthier
food
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 can reduce buying incentives
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for
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of
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for
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Correct your spelling
human beings
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human-beings
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human beings
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 and can
cause generating
Wrong verb form
generate
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 less profit for the companies at the same time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people`s willingness to buy fast
food
Use synonyms
 diminishes over time
due to
Linking Words
 high prices. As governments put high
taxes
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 on
this
Linking Words
 sector compared to others, the costs during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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production soar, and producers have to surge market prices of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as snakes, hamburgers etc. A recent study
of
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by
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UNEC
Correct article usage
the UNEC
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Emprical
Correct your spelling
Empirical
 Research Center proves that 67 per cent of obese people have reduced consuming fast
food
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 because of less purchasing power, and 35 per cent of them have commenced consuming healthier
food
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,governments can preserve the health of their citizens in
this
Linking Words
 economic way .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the gains of suppliers decline significantly
due to
Linking Words
 increasing
taxes
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 and less demand
of
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for
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 people.
For example
Linking Words
, the inquiry of Business Management School
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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proves the assertations
with
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by
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 providing the data based on the separation of 78 per cent
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 manufacturing industries
such
Linking Words
 as “Ali doner” from the market. So, it is observed that many companies shift to the areas in which
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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taxes
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 are imposed on outputs and the figures for restaurants where
the
Correct article usage
apply
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street
food
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 served undergo
the
Correct article usage
a
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 reduction. In conclusion, the aspects of high
taxes
Use synonyms
 on
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 industries are argued in
this
Linking Words
 essay. In my opinion, in terms of
and
Correct word choice
apply
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the drop
of
Change preposition
in
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 demand and the number of production of unhealthier
food
Use synonyms
 ,
this
Linking Words
 notion is entirely justified.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overconsumption
  • Chronic diseases
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Sin tax
  • Subsidize
  • Affordability
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Paternalism
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Industry lobbying
  • Public health initiatives
  • Consumer behavior
  • Regulatory measures
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Fiscal policy
  • Preventative healthcare
  • Behavioral economics
What to do next:
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