IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre- school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better choice for kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
Some people argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
when
Add an article
a parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
at
Add a missing verb
are at
show examples
 work, it is better for the
children
Use synonyms
 to stay with
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 grandparents
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that the
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 centre is better for the
children
Use synonyms
 as they provide better service. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will discuss both views.
Body · 1
firstly
Linking Words
, the Childcare centre is
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
 in every city and
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.It
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 all the service like food,
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and care
show examples
care
Change the verb form
cares
show examples
 to the
children
Use synonyms
 and closely
montior
Correct your spelling
monitors
 every
Use synonyms
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
. They give all the thing to the
children
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they need
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the
day
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 meets other
children
Use synonyms
 which increase their
intereaction
Correct your spelling
interaction
 level and
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 is open
everyday
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
as
Linking Words
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they have professional
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 who have
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
.
Body · 2
Other the other hand, many
parent
Change to a plural noun
parents
show examples
 are working full time and they prefer their
children
Use synonyms
 to stay with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 like grandparents as they trust their parents. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
 to
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they prefer them as the
Use synonyms
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 are expensive and
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
 for 8 to 9 hours.
Conclusion
In
summary
Add a comma
summary,
show examples
day
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 are professional but
due to
Linking Words
 some trust
issue
Add a comma
issue,
show examples
 people prefer their family. In my
Correct your spelling
opinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
opionion
Add a comma
opionion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer both for the
children
Use synonyms
 and it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on the parent which they like

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: