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Band 4

some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre- school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better choice for kids.

#parents #childcare #centers #services #children #pre- #school #age #members #grandparents #choice #kids
In
this
 contemporary world, it is very hard for the parent to learn and teach new things to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
children
 as some people prefer to send their
children
 to the
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
think it is best for the
children
 to
stays
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
 with
grandparents
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both the ideas and give my thoughts. First of all, Most of the parents are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 employee and they do not have the time for the
children
due to
 their busy schedules so they send their
children
 to
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
 to learn about the
cirrclum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 and to gain
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
.
In addition
 to
this
, the staff of the
day
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daycare
show examples
care
 is highly skilled and professional.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 they give their best services to the
children
 and treat every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 in the same way and give full attention to every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
.
Other
Change preposition
On other
show examples
 the hand, Some
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 prefer
grandparents
 for the
children
 to stay
rather
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with rather
show examples
 than the
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
 as they trust them and think it is
secure
Add an article
a secure
show examples
 place for them.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the
children
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bond with
the
Change the word
their
show examples
grandparents
 and it is easy for them to
learn
Add the particle
learn to
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 them
as well as
 staying with them
also
 increase the family bond.
In addition
 to
this
, the
grandparents
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a lot of
experinece
Correct your spelling
experience
as well as
 some
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 example which they teach to the
children
. In my
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
show examples
 both the ideas are good but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 the
children
 to stay with the
grandparents
 as they
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 and have experience so they teach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
children
.
Submitted by sirat on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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