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Writing Samples
Band 6

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However some say that young people can also take the lead of organisations or companies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organizations #people #say #lead #organisations #companies
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A plethora of older
people
 have been sitting in higher positions. Anyhow, it is reckoned that a large group of young
people
 should take charge of the higher seats of the organizations. It is agreed to give a chance to the new generation for numerous reasons.
Due to
technology
 acquaintance by new
people
 and flourish in the worldwide.
This
 essay will drive my points in
further
 paragraphs. In many countries, it shows that the Higher positions are run by elderly
people
 which has been going on for a long time.
Besides
this
, those
people
 have not given a chance for new children. It is truly unfair for these young students who can run the organization.
Although
, it is a difficult task they can drive the companies through
technology
.
Technology
 development has given information to new
people
 which can benefit the departments. Through
technology
, types of equipment may replace old working patterns.
Therefore
, it will improve the productivity of the company.
Furthermore
, young ones
also
 know computer skills and they develop software which can increase the management system. The software programs can run the company's structure and meet the achievable goals. The customer services are
also
 run by young students and give the information to their customers.
Hence
, they can gather information from clients and improve their services.
In addition
, youngsters can expand the organization's prospects in a broader way which may impact the
world
. They can understand new languages ,
therefore
, it is
to
Correct word choice
important to
show examples
 communicate with foreign nations. Not only they can improve their communication skills but
also
 understand the market
world
.
Consequently
, they have to be encouraged to sit on the management level and compete in the
world
.
To conclude
, some
people
 believe that older
people
 can serve well on higher levels. But many youngsters claim that
this
 position should be given to new
people
. In my opinion, the director-level seats should allow new folks because they know the market
world
 which will enhance the efficiency of the company through
technology
 development.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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task achievement
Ensure you provide a clear introductory paragraph that sets out your position in response to the question. Your conclusion should mirror this and summarize the main points made.
task achievement
Work on developing clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the prompt. Expand your paragraphs with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a range of linking words appropriately and ensuring paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Avoid overusing certain phrases.
coherence cohesion
Include a mix of complex sentence structures to showcase linguistic range and accuracy. Aim for precision and variety in vocabulary use.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly, senior
  • emerging technologies
  • wisdom, maturity, seasoned
  • agility, nimble
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • innovativeness
  • adaptability
  • mentorship, guidance
  • succession planning
  • diversity, inclusiveness
  • risk-taking, calculated risks
  • demographics
  • intergenerational
  • knowledge transfer
  • organizational renewal
  • challenges, drawbacks
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