IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The line graph gives information about the number of books that were borrowed in four various libraries in 2014, with the piechart illustratesthe proportion of different types of books over the four months.

The line graph gives information about the number of books that were borrowed in four various libraries in 2014, with the piechart illustratesthe proportion of different types of books over the four months.
#line #information #books #four #libraries #piechart #illustratesthe #proportion #months
The line graph gives information about the number of
books
 that were borrowed
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 four various libraries in 2014, with the
piechart
Correct your spelling
pie chart
show examples
illustratesthe
Correct your spelling
illustrates the
illustrates
 proportion of different types of
books
 over the four months. In general, we can see that in Sutton
wood
Capitalize word
Wood
show examples
 in September the indicator shows the best result over the period, and in
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 the most read genre was fiction
books
. As can be seen in the line graph, the borrowing for Ryeslip
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 down over the period, falling significantly from almost 300
books
 to just under 200
books
 in September.
By contrast
, in Sutton Wood over the first two months borrowing declined dramatically, but in September climbed sharply. In other
libraries
Add a comma
libraries,
show examples
borrowng
Correct your spelling
borrowing
 rose gradually over the period. As is presented in the pie chart,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fiction
books
borrowed
Add a missing verb
were borrowed
show examples
 close to one half,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 the average for all types is about 15 per cent,
only
Correct word choice
and only
show examples
 10 per cent
self-help
Change preposition
of self-help
show examples
books
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 borrowed
overfor
Correct your spelling
over for
 months.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: