In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree?

In some regions, some
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that it
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not necessary to send all of the
people
who commit a
crime
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison,
espeacially
Correct your spelling
especially
some light crimes
while
many
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that all of the person who commits a
crime
should go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jail, From my point of view, I agreed with the former view the we must have alternative choices for some less serious
crime
. My supportive ideas will be shown in the following
paragrahs
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
paragraph
before the conclusion
inclined
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. First and foremost, we have to commit that some
people
that did non-harmful crimes like
stolers
Correct your spelling
stolen
stoles
or pick-pocketers should have the other choice for their crimes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
not just
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prison sentences
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
providing them to undertake community service because in many cases, they are just young
people
that to do something in
challenging
Change the article
a challenging
show examples
way or they have some problems with their family that means their home
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
not safe anymore.
Moreover
, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of adults
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
usually
occur
Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs
show examples
from poverty and their hardship from not having
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or enough food. By the way, the
people
who commit
really
Correct article usage
a really
show examples
damage
Replace the word
damaging
show examples
crime
espeacially
Correct your spelling
especially
the
crime
that makes someone
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
the
people
that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
love
such
as the shooting in public areas or
robing
Correct your spelling
robbing
show examples
the bank that makes the public shocked from their actions. One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
is the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
will
relived
Correct your spelling
relieved
show examples
from these
people
and they should
have to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn the serious
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
deadly
Correct article usage
the deadly
show examples
actions that
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
did to the public.
However
, the sentence should be reasonable for prisoners
becase
Correct your spelling
because
we do not exactly know
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
motivation for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
even though we knew
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they might
stil
Correct your spelling
still
have a good side in them. So, we should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
provide an opportunity
feo
Correct your spelling
for
them. All in all, the
people
who commit a
crime
that
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
cruel should have an option
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
taking care of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
because they might be good persons that found
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hardship like losing a job or money, but in deadly
crime
cases, the
commiter
Correct your spelling
committee
committer
should go to the prison
frist
Correct your spelling
first
to make the society feel better but the sentence should be reasonable and sometimes we give an
oppunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to them.
Submitted by ChampJT on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: