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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #birth #thirties #development
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Today, most people get married and give
birth
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 in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is
this
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 a positive or negative development? There has been a recent trend that most people tend to get married and become
parents
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 later than used to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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. Whilst there are some drawbacks to
this
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 issue, I believe that it is generally a positive change
due to
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 the necessities of modern
life
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.
Firstly
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, I can claim that older couples are probably more successful and mature and will provide their children with better parenting. It can be observed that getting involved in a serious economic or social role in modern societies, requires higher education levels and more years of professional experience than in past decades.
Moreover
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, women have climbed the professional ladder better in recent years which is
due to
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 years of studying and perseverance being engaged with responsibilities of motherhood. These factors have led to later marriage and giving
birth
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 to young generations. In my opinion,
this
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 is a positive trend since these older couples are might more mature and capable both financially and psychologically.
Hence
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, it is expected that they will act better in nurturing their offspring than younger but naive and less financially equipped
parents
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.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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older but more developed families will provide their children with better education facilities in private schools.
Further
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,
although
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 there used to be concerns about the health of newborns with older
parents
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, today's medical advances have made it possible to give
birth
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 to a strong and healthy child even in the late thirties or forties.
In addition
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,
due to
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 the extension of
life
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 expectancy in most countries, older
parents
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yet
Rephrase
apply
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would have adequate time and physical endurance to
grow up
Verb problem
raise
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 their children and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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spend quality time with them.
Therefore
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, not only will the young generation be able to take benefit of their freedom in their twenties, but
also
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 they will be healthy enough to give
birth
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 in the later decade and to keep their well-being
in
Change preposition
apply
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their whole
life
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.
To conclude
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, I assume that the development in the age of marriage and parenting is both a necessity and
favourable
Correct article usage
a favourable
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 outcome of modern
life
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 and its advanced facilities.
Submitted by negar.sakhaee on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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