It is important to give children a possibility to act independently and make their own decisions from early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

In our modern society, people want to make
childs
Correct your spelling
children
confident and
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
well for their age.
Moreover
, somebodies thinks that it is important to give
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
independence in
decisions
Correct pronoun usage
their decisions
show examples
. I little bit disagree with
this
opinion and will explain in
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
why. First of all, it is not so smart
children
Change preposition
for children
show examples
to make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
complex choices, because they are so young and do not know about options and their consequences. Unlike
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
older men or women
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have experience in different life situations, little boys or girls never
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
hard occasions and do not know how to react, so parents should teach and show by their cases why something is bad or good.
On the other hand
, teenagers that in 16-17 years might become a
self sufficient
Add a hyphen
self-sufficient
show examples
persons.
In other words
,
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
new stage of life and in
this
age period they need to make important decisions about their future life or profession. Of course,
this
is really difficult but you can not run away from
this
and be
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
forever.
To conclude
, everybody
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to make their young ones able to choose and it is demanding for their future.
However
,
firstly
parents need to illustrate how to choose with their
lifestories
Correct your spelling
life stories
and only
then
try to give them make choices.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • empower
  • nurture
  • authority
  • guidance
  • mentor
  • self-reliance
  • resourcefulness
  • initiative
  • innovation
  • responsibility
  • adulthood
  • independent thinking
  • critical thinking
  • obligations
  • achievement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: