There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are various reasons why
people
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may want to remain in paid work.
While
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I accept that
money
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is an important factor for some, I believe that others remain in the workforce for other reasons On the one hand, there are some reasons why
money
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is one of the motivations for
people
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to remain in the workforce. One reason is that some simply wish to have an acceptable standard of living, and they need
this
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living wage to support themselves or their families.
Thus
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, even if their salary is low, they could not survive without it. Another reason is that others want to pursue a successful career in order to earn a high salary.
For example
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, employers may offer a pay rise to an ambitious employee who is able to achieve a company sales target.
Therefore
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,
money
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is a major factor in inducing both modest
people
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as
Correct word choice
and
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well as high-flyers to stay
in
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at
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work.
On the other hand
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, for the majority of employees, there are other factors which motivate them more strongly to stay in work.
Firstly
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, many
people
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value factors
such
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as job satisfaction as more important than their salary. If a person adores the outdoor life, he or she will not be happy being a stockbroker or a financier, no matter that the salaries for both
those
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apply
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jobs are extremely high.
Secondly
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, contributing to the community is another reason to value a job.
For instance
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, Mr Kurt, who has lived in Vietnam for about 20 years, has constructed 6 schools and other facilities for disabled children. He left his job with the Danish Embassy to bring about changes to the lives of youngsters. In conclusion, I agree that
money
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can be an important factor for employees to stay in the workforce, but
this
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is by no means the key consideration for most
people
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.
Submitted by thanhlampham911 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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