There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are various reasons why
people
may want to remain in paid work. While
I accept that money
is an important factor for some, I believe that others remain in the workforce for other reasons On the one hand, there are some reasons why money
is one of the motivations for people
to remain in the workforce. One reason is that some simply wish to have an acceptable standard of living, and they need this
living wage to support themselves or their families. Thus
, even if their salary is low, they could not survive without it. Another reason is that others want to pursue a successful career in order to earn a high salary. For example
, employers may offer a pay rise to an ambitious employee who is able to achieve a company sales target. Therefore
, money
is a major factor in inducing both modest people
as
well as high-flyers to stay Correct word choice
and
in
work. Change preposition
at
On the other hand
, for the majority of employees, there are other factors which motivate them more strongly to stay in work. Firstly
, many people
value factors such
as job satisfaction as more important than their salary. If a person adores the outdoor life, he or she will not be happy being a stockbroker or a financier, no matter that the salaries for both those
jobs are extremely high. Correct determiner usage
apply
Secondly
, contributing to the community is another reason to value a job. For instance
, Mr Kurt, who has lived in Vietnam for about 20 years, has constructed 6 schools and other facilities for disabled children. He left his job with the Danish Embassy to bring about changes to the lives of youngsters. In conclusion, I agree that money
can be an important factor for employees to stay in the workforce, but this
is by no means the key consideration for most people
.Submitted by thanhlampham911 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion