IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

people living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. what are those problems? should the government encourage people to move to regional areas?

#people #cities #face #life #government #move #areas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph provides information about citizens
preferred
Correct pronoun usage
who preferred
show examples
used
Verb problem
to use
show examples
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
various
Change preposition
in various
show examples
 locations namely
Home
Change preposition
at Home
show examples
, Work, College and Library
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1998 to 2004. To give an overview, it
remarkably
Add a missing verb
is remarkably
show examples
 noticeable that, people like to
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 in
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 area
whereas
Linking Words
 only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 citizens like to
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 in
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
. To commence with, home
percentage
Use synonyms
, it observed that
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 interest
to used
Change preposition
in using
show examples
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 began nearly at 55 in 1998 and in
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
period
Use synonyms
, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined and reached below 50. Even though, it boosted and reached the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 at the beginning.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 work accessed to
Internet
Use synonyms
 data depicted below 30% in 1998 and it remained levelled off in 2000. After that, it declined continuously and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 17
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 in 2004.
Additionally
Linking Words
, college choice of used
Internet
Use synonyms
 embarked at 20% and it remained
samed
Correct your spelling
same
 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 after that, it rose and reached above 22
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2002. Even though, it reduced
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 19%.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
citizens
Correct article usage
the citizens
show examples
 who used
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 in library
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 lowest throughout the whole
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: