IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

write a referral letter to Ms susan williams,the hospital health worker, requesting her to see the patient before discharge

#ms #susan #williams #health #worker #patient #discharge
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I am writing to refer Mr Yanlin who has undergone emergency cardiac surgery and requires your continued
care
Use synonyms
 and support.Now he is set to be discharged today. Mr Yanlin was presented to our
care
Use synonyms
 on 31
march
Capitalize word
March
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 with chief complaints of severe chest and back pain. He has undergone several
investigation
Change to a plural noun
investigations
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 and has performed
echocardiogram
Correct article usage
an echocardiogram
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 was
reveal
Wrong verb form
revealed
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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aortic value incompetence for which he has undergone open chest surgery with mechanical value.During
post operatively
Add a hyphen
post-operatively
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, he made
a
Remove the article
apply
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good progress and his blood was stabilized gradually.He was started with
exercise
Correct article usage
an exercise
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 program by
physiotherapist
Add an article
a physiotherapist
the physiotherapist
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.Currently,he
was
Wrong verb form
has been
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 started on warfarin therapy. Mr Yanlin is a student and lives alone in Australia.His mother has
came
Change the verb form
come
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 to Australia from
china
Capitalize word
China
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for taking
Change preposition
to take
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care
Use synonyms
him
Change preposition
of him
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.He has had a
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
 of smoking and has
high
Add a missing verb
had high
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 BP since 2010. He has a family history of heart
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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. I would highly appreciate it, if you could assist him before discharge because
of
Change preposition
apply
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his lease on rental accommodation has recently expired.Kindly educate him
regardind
Correct your spelling
regarding
 the warfarin therapy. Provide him
proper
Change preposition
with proper
show examples
 wound
care
Use synonyms
 and monitor his BP to be maintained at 120/80 .
In addition
Linking Words
, help him
regarding
Change preposition
with
show examples
 his weight
losing
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 and stop smoking. Yours sincerely Nurse
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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