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Band 4.5

How can the government make sure that people save enough money to live on when they are old?

#government #people #money
Many of the older generation are suffering from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of money and savings.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that the government has not taken any actions to support them during their working age and
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 management illiteracy of a part of the generation.
This
 essay will suggest some potential solutions related to
this
 and provide a conclusion. The most important and effective way that can be taken to confront the situation is that the government should educate individuals about financial management. In
this
 way, when those adults are old, they can still have their savings and use them effectively by following a personal plan. It is probable that
this
 is a crucial action which can manage the elderly’s
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
 and help them live on.
However
, one concerning drawback is the school curriculum does not have time for
this
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 adults can not attend all the provided lessons because of their complicated circumstances. Another way that can be used to deal with
this
 problem is a rise in wages of workers who are near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
retirement. To be more precise,
this
 group can not only meet their living standard but
also
 obtain additional savings for the future.
This
 is
also
 considered to be effective if it is applied in modern society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since the future of the retired can be much easier.
However
, the cause of concern lies in the fact that
this
 solution takes consideration and arrangement before trying it, which means it is not viable at the moment. In summary, the mentioned solutions are the most effective and prominent methods that can be used to deal with the lack of money after retirement.
Although
 there are disadvantages, I believe these answers can be finalised before bringing them to reality, which can improve them and erase those losses.
Submitted by nguyencamnhi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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