It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do yoy think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is
essential
Add an article
an essential
the essential
show examples
thing for everybody to take
risks
, both in their professional
lives
and their personal
lives
. In
thia
Correct your spelling
this
essay , I will discuss the main
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of
this
phenomenon and
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are a couple of main advantages regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taking
risks
to our occupational
lives
and private
lives
.
Firstly
, it will be a remarkable experience for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both professional and
persona
Replace the word
personal
show examples
lives
.
Secondly
,
people
can learn and add new things to their entire
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
through experiences.
For example
, Mr. Martin Luther
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was an Accountant at
a
Change the article
an
show examples
international company prior to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
a
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
Author. He has
takes
Change the verb form
taken
show examples
a
risk
to give up his
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
due to
his happiness. I had read his
life
's story and it is mentioned,
he
Correct word choice
that he
show examples
had a dream to be a writer one day since childhood.
However
, he is a famous writer in the world and he
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
taken a valuable
risk
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
his
life
.
Therefore
, most probably,
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best thing to change our
lives
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
positive
Change the word
positively
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some decisions are made
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
lot of
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
and that
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
to
people
's
collapses
Correct subject-verb agreement
collapse
show examples
. Most of the
time
people
not taking
risks
at suitable
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
instance, some individuals who are over aged; more than 40 years old, try to migrate for permanent residency. But, it will be
Add an article
a risk
show examples
risk
Replace the word
risky
show examples
because most of the
time
they cannot find a suitable carrier in the particular country to
surview
Correct your spelling
survive
. At
this
time
,
people
lost their every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
in their personal
life
and professional
life
.
Hence
, we have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
show examples
when we
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
risk decisions
a risk decision
show examples
risk
decisions.
Think
Wrong verb form
Thinking
show examples
more through
risk
is important before taking the
risks
.
To conclude
, it is important for
people
to take
risks
, in their
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
lives
and their personal
lives
. Despite these drawbacks, I believe that the benefits of taking
risks
o
Change preposition
on
show examples
their both occupational
lives
and orivate
lives
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
higher.
Submitted by shanikamaduri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Develop a clear and concise introduction that presents the main points of the essay
task achievement
The essay lacks specific, relevant examples to support the main points made

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: