It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do yoy think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives #yoy

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It is

essential

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an essential

the essential

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thing for everybody to take

risks

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, both in their professional

lives

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and their personal

lives

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. In

thia

Correct your spelling

this

essay , I will discuss the main

advantage

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advantages

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and

disadvantage

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disadvantages

show examples

this

Linking Words

phenomenon and

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

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that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are a couple of main advantages regarding

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

taking

risks

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to our occupational

lives

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and private

lives

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Firstly

Linking Words

, it will be a remarkable experience for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

both professional and

persona

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personal

show examples

lives

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Secondly

Linking Words

people

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can learn and add new things to their entire

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

through experiences.

For example

Linking Words

, Mr. Martin Luther

who

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apply

show examples

was an Accountant at

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show examples

international company prior to

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being

show examples

famouse

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famous

Author. He has

takes

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taken

show examples

risk

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to give up his

carrier

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career

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due to

Linking Words

his happiness. I had read his

life

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's story and it is mentioned,

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that he

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had a dream to be a writer one day since childhood.

However

Linking Words

, he is a famous writer in the world and he

had

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has

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taken a valuable

risk

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Change preposition

show examples

his

life

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Therefore

Linking Words

, most probably,

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risk taking

Add a hyphen

risk-taking

show examples

Change the article

the

show examples

best thing to change our

lives

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towards

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apply

show examples

positive

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positively

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, some decisions are made

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in a

show examples

lot of

troubles

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trouble

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and that

caused

Wrong verb form

causes

show examples

people

Use synonyms

collapses

Correct subject-verb agreement

collapse

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. Most of the

time

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people

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not taking

risks

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at suitable

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time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

Change preposition

For

show examples

instance, some individuals who are over aged; more than 40 years old, try to migrate for permanent residency. But, it will be

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Add an article

a risk

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risk

Replace the word

risky

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because most of the

time

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they cannot find a suitable carrier in the particular country to

surview

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survive

. At

this

Linking Words

time

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people

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lost their every

things

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thing

show examples

in their personal

life

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and professional

life

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Hence

Linking Words

, we have

responsibility

Add an article

a responsibility

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when we

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

risk decisions

a risk decision

show examples

risk

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decisions.

Think

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Thinking

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more through

risk

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is important before taking the

risks

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To conclude

Linking Words

, it is important for

people

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to take

risks

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, in their

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

show examples

lives

Use synonyms

and their personal

lives

Use synonyms

. Despite these drawbacks, I believe that the benefits of taking

risks

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Change preposition

show examples

their both occupational

lives

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and orivate

lives

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

higher.

Submitted by shanikamaduri on Sun Oct 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Develop a clear and concise introduction that presents the main points of the essay

task achievement

The essay lacks specific, relevant examples to support the main points made

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do yoy think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, crime novels and tv crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? what is your opinion of crime fiction and tv crime dramas?

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Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages