IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.
#line #patients #four #clinics
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The line graph illustrates
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of patients who visited clinics between 2010 and 2016 for four particular reasons.
Overall
Linking Words
, eye problems are increasing rather than other problems and birth control
reamins
Correct your spelling
remains
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as where it was started.
firstly
Linking Words
,
dental
Add an article
the dental
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 problem
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gradually increased during the period,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 accounted
Change preposition
for morethan
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morethan
Correct your spelling
more than
 50 individuals in a week and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 reached nearly 200
in
Change preposition
apply
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last
Linking Words
 year. when it comes to dental
clinic
Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
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 it started with 100 and reduced to just above 50 in 2012. After that, it significantly increased, to 125 in 20104 and remained almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
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. Birth control was the highest in 2010 and
second
Correct article usage
the second
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 highest was Eye patients and those started with
near
Change the word
nearly
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 250 and 125 respectively. For
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 two
tears
Add a comma
tears,
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 they increased the value as same and birth control created a massive decline between 2012 and 2014, at above 150.
however
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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it climbed to
near
Change the word
nearly
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 250 in 2016. The number of Eye patients increased
from
Change preposition
in
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 2012 and it reached 350 in
final
Add an article
the final
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 year.
Submitted by shahinka.687 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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