The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

The charts show us a comparaison from the

population

Use synonyms

of France and India about the age structure in 1984.

Overall

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

France, the percentage of males and

females

Use synonyms

decrease

Correct subject-verb agreement

decreases

show examples

when

people

Use synonyms

get older.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

decrease is much more powerful in India

creating

Punctuation problem

, creating

show examples

a real pyramid with a correlation between males and

females

Use synonyms

. First of all, we can see that the bar charts are longer for

females

Use synonyms

in France. It tells us that in

1984

Punctuation problem

1984,

show examples

the French

population

Use synonyms

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

a majority of

females

Use synonyms

. We can see that between 10 and 35 years old,

people

Use synonyms

can be

consider

Wrong verb form

considered

show examples

as the majority of the French

population

Use synonyms

representing

Punctuation problem

, representing

show examples

around 3.5

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of the

population

Use synonyms

. The following chart

show

Correct subject-verb agreement

shows

show examples

us a more powerful decrease. As we can see, the

population

Use synonyms

of India from 0 to 5 years old represent the large majority of Indian

people

Use synonyms

. With a percentage of 6.5. It

contraste

Correct your spelling

contrasts

with the minority of

people

Use synonyms

aged

Change preposition

apply

show examples

60 to 70 who represent only 1.5

pourcent

Correct your spelling

per cent

santos_dij

Oct 22, 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words population, females, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

163 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

charts
age structure
populations
France
India
1984
overall
different
evenly distributed
proportion
young people
elderly individuals
largest age group

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles’ prices. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
There is an ongoing debate over whether the sufficient method to grapple with environmental problems is to raise the cost of fuel and cars. Many individuals claim that it is attributed to some issues, such as straining public transportation, and some level of individuals suffer from it though I mostly agree that an increase in the price of gasoline and cars might solve environmental problems.
7
band
The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have a great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers.
It is undeniable that due to the rapid increase in science and technology, electronic media has grown dramatically in this century. The general belief is that the more developed mass media, the more power to change an individual's thinking, and I completely agree with this view.
6
band
Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by private companies rather than governments. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Write an essay with at least 250 words
There has been significant discourse surrounding the proposal for scientific research to be conducted by governments rather than private entities. While some would argue the opposite on the grounds that it engenders greater innovation, I contend that governments can conduct better research as they are less susceptible to corporate influence.
6
band
Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?
There is no doubt nowadays the utility of modern technology is very famous in most work areas. This essay will discuss the changes in the way we work and some disadvantages of using too much new technology.
7
band
Some people say that companies who sponsor big games can gain a lot; other people believe that it has disadvantages for them. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
A controversial debate is initiated between two different points of view, some may feel that firms who fund vast matches are increasingly beneficial for both parties, through the significant rise of profits, which I will explain furthermore in this essay, while there is an argument that its demerits overraced its merits. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view, and at the end, I will drop in my own perspective.

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984.

Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles’ prices. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have a great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers.

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by private companies rather than governments. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Write an essay with at least 250 words

Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

Some people say that companies who sponsor big games can gain a lot; other people believe that it has disadvantages for them. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.