Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

A school is definitely a place where children can have a rich learning experience.
However
,each school has a different policy, some only focus on basic and scientific
subjects
while
others include
music
and cultural material
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
.
Hence
, people's opinion is divided too. On one hand, some people think that
music
should be a part of the educational system,
due to
the impact that can have
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children’s life and their ability to learn.
For instance
, studies show that
students
who play
music
constantly manage to focus more on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
subjects
.
As a result
, they get better grades.
On the other hand
, others believe that schools should focus on
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and
science
since they are considered as serious
subjects
.
Moreover
,the majority believe that
science
is the only way to have a successful job in the future.
For
this
reason,adding other
subjects
will only confuse
students
.
Additionally
, when we give them a choice they may end up choosing
music
over
science
which will ruin their future. In my view,
students
should have access to a variety of materials, cultural and scientific.
Due to
the importance of those
subjects
.
However
,
music
has a huge value as it can help improve the memory.As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, scholars will benefit from it to higher their grades.
Furthermore
,
Music
encourages
self expression
Add a hyphen
self-expression
show examples
,fosters creativity, and helps
students
build
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
.
Also
,
music
education can open the door for more career options in the future.
To sum up
,I think schools should keep the balance between
music
and
science
in a way where the second is the most important in the educational system
while
the first is optional.
However
, teaching
music
is necessary.
Submitted by kaoutar.eljaouhari50 on

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