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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years
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These pie charts provide information regarding the number of devices
of
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apply
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watching television between 18 and 25 in 2009 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, all factors consisting pie charts went through
notabley
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notably
notable
 huge changes, which means there
is
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are
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 no devices which were used in a stable flow. In detail, the figure that
show
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shows
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 the most significant change is Conventional TV, which dipped from 34% to 4%.
Next,
Linking Words
in the case of Desktop
computer
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computers
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 and Laptop has
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar trend, they decreased in the same 6% portion, 18% to 12% and 20% to 12% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of usage for rest devices surged so much, which are Mobile
phone
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phones
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(15% to 26%),
Tablet
Correct word choice
and Tablet
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(5%). And
in particular
Linking Words
,
people
Correct quantifier usage
more people
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 enjoyed
to watch
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watching
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 Flat-screen TV in 2019 than in 2009, showing for the rate
to increase
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increased
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 most sharply among the factors,
8
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from 8
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% to 27%.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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