IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact society band individual. to wat extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #media #facebook #instagram #impact #society #band #wat
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social apps trend has been increased by our new generation as technology
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
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 us easy access to explore any place with some clicks in order to gain some information about them.
However
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that using different social
websites
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 brings some negative consequences, and I
also
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 agree with those individuals
due to
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 the negative impact of these sites on mental health
as well as
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 reduced face-to-face interaction and communication skills. To commence with views of disagreement that investing
time
Use synonyms
 on scrolling social media provides us with some benefits
such
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 as
time
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 savage and quick way of communication with our clients and foreign friends.
In other words
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, multifarious businesses totally depend on
this
Linking Words
 media as they advertise their products quickly on these social
websites
Use synonyms
 because of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 large number of
people
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 who follow these
websites
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.
As a result
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, they do not have to spend
time
Use synonyms
 putting some banners on street walls. Shifting towards views of agreement, mental health problems are not only making
people
Use synonyms
 weak but
also
Linking Words
 becoming a cause of large amounts of expenses which might have to be paid by patients. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
Correct article usage
the exsessive
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exsessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
 use of Facebook and Instagram
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 made
people
Use synonyms
 sick as they mostly spend their
time
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 scrolling the screens and they suffer from weak eyesight
as well as
Linking Words
 some mental illness.
For instance
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,
according to
Linking Words
 World News, 70% of the new generation is surviving with a lack of eyesight and getting bills to pay large amounts of money rather than prior to the invention of these social
websites
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. In conclusion, every coin has two sides and we can not neglect both of them,
although
Linking Words
 social media has many benefits,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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our first priority is our health to survive a better day with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 healthy body so today modern apps are detrimental to us.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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