IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Nowadays, technology plays a major role in our lives. Some people think it have a positive impact for students, but others concern it as a detrimental item for study. Compare two sides opinion.

#technology #role #lives #people #impact #students #concern #item #study #two
Nowadays,
technology
 plays a major role in our lives. Some people
regards
Change the verb form
regard
show examples
 it as a vital educational tool for
students
, but others concern it as a detrimental item for the study. Personally, I think there are benefits and shortages for both sides, and the following content will list the reasons. Modern
technology
 enhances the efficiency
Change preposition
of
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people to absorb knowledge.
For example
,
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 database can provide more data than a substantial one,
furthermore
, every member of the library can obtain the information on the library’s website. In
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
,
students
 spend plenty of time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
looking for the information they want,
in contrast
, searching on
net
Add an article
the net
show examples
 is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 only
cost
Change the verb form
costs
show examples
 less than one minute to wait for the
searching
Replace the word
search
show examples
 results to pop up.
Nevertheless
, the addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 electronic
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 is
also
 a crucial issue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a student. In recent years, video games and short-time video
app
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
show examples
 are popular on the internet. These items distract teenagers from learning,
for example
, several
students
 use electronics more than five hours a day or even more, but they spend most of the time on YouTube,
Tik-tok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
 and Facebook,
as a result
, these affect their academic
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
. In general,
technology
assist
Change the verb form
assists
show examples
 people to easily obtain information, but several entertaining functions severely affect
students
’ learning. In my notion,
technology
 doesn’t cause these problems, human does,
hence
,
students
 should find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 balance when they are managing their study.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: