Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #hobbies

Many

people

argue that challenging

hobbies

may bring a higher sense of pleasure.

This

essay will discuss why I think

hobbies

are not necessarily to be tricky

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since everyone has their own enjoyment from those activities. On the one hand, it is true that the more difficult the

hobbies

are, the more enjoyable they

bring

Verb problem

are

show examples

. Young

people

for example

, have an extreme desire for thrill and adventure so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

activities

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

mountain climbing, sky-diving or bungee jumping. These activities which have

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

risk of injury demand

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a level of expertise and

also

a huge amount of time spent to become competent at

this

activity.

Consequently

, these

people

seem to have a greater sense of satisfaction.

On the other hand

, the more achievable

hobbies

will get

people

to replenish their

battery

Fix the agreement mistake

batteries

show examples

and bolster their personal performance. It is true that

people

who

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

not experienced a level of happiness after doing their

hobbies

,in the long term, might be entirely discouraged and

this

could result in a deterrent from pursuing.

Besides

hobbies

as a means of entertainment must be achieved easily in order to constantly create a temporary state of happiness and relaxation.

Sequently

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, it leads to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

higher performance and productivity .Meanwhile, even an easy hobby will bring about benefits to the person doing it. In conclusion, I slightly agree with the opinion that

hobbies

should be challenging so that

people

can achieve their personal fulfilment given that both the easy and the difficult can satisfy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Submitted by ieltsamiedu on Mon Oct 23 2023

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task response

Develop your arguments and provide more detailed examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unique challenge
personal growth
mastery
accomplishment
demanding
thrill of achievement
pastimes
fostering
sense of community
mindfulness
stress relief
mental break
daily stressors

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Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it is better to have a single legal system worldwide. Others say countries should have their law. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (OPINION ESSAY)

discuss whether the advantages of nuclear energy outweigh the potentia risk and environment concern

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Today, it is very common to have people from two different generations mix in the same workplace. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this situation?