IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words 100 Percentage of households 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 Percentage of households with electrical appliances (1920-2019) 2000 2019 1080 1960 1920 1940 Year ~O- Vacuum cleaner - Washing machine mo Refrigerator Number of hours of housework* per week, per household (1920-2019) Number of hours per week 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 2019 € 2000 4980 1960 1920 1940 Year • 0 Hours per week

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words 100 Percentage of households 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 Percentage of households with electrical appliances (1920-2019) 2000 2019 1080 1960 1920 1940 Year ~O- Vacuum cleaner - Washing machine mo Refrigerator Number of hours of housework* per week, per household (1920-2019) Number of hours per week 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 2019 € 2000 4980 1960 1920 1940 Year • 0 Hours per week
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons #percentage #year #~o- #vacuum #machine #mo #refrigerator #hours #housework* #week #household
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The given images depict line graphs representing the trends in the ownership of electrical appliances and how many
hours
Use synonyms
 they
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 in households between 1920 and 2019. As can be seen from the graph, there are three electrical equipment used by
people
Use synonyms
 namely washing machines, refrigerators, and vacuum cleaners. These three components showed a fluctuation in
this
Linking Words
 graph.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the usage of the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 showed
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
show examples
 reduction from 1920 to 2019.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 1920, a lower percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 used refrigerators than after it dramatically increased until 1960.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in the past time 30% of vacuum cleaners were used by the country's
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it consistently increased until 2000 from 100%, remaining years followed equal percentage by
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1920, the majority of society used washing machines at 40%.
However
Linking Words
, following years it increased only by 30%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 1920, a higher amount of
hours
Use synonyms
 was used at 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it showed a reduction in 1960 at 20%. After remaining years it declined by 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduction" was used 2 times.
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