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Writing Samples /
Band 3

IT has been argued, that the main goal of science is to improve the people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#science #people #lives
It is widely believed that the principal object of
science
 is to enhance the
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 lives. Personally, I agree that the first goal of
science
 is to assist the nation and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 life
more
Correct word choice
better
show examples
,
hence
,
this
 essay will consider that I feel that for two reasons which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explore in the following essay.
Initially
,
science
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a high effect on human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 for developing their lives from different
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
, like, technology,
Medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
, architecture, etc.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 the new world
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
developed quickly
cause
Change preposition
because
show examples
 the
science
.
Nevertheless
,
science
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
for increasing
Change preposition
to increase
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 capacity
of learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
 any subject
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
easiest
Correct article usage
the easiest
show examples
 way.
For instance
, In
China
Add a comma
China,
show examples
people
relience
Correct your spelling
reliance
 on
science
 in every step they will take.
such
 the lab it require
science
 to
made
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
 the operation successful. Despite
this
, there are a number of significant benefits of
sience
Correct your spelling
science
silence
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
,
although
people
 exploit
science
 to improve their circumstances and
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
show examples
 world for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 as well. many powerful
corporation
Change to a plural noun
corporations
show examples
 that
responsible
Add a missing verb
are responsible
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
Add an article
an airplane
the airplane
show examples
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
,
transport
Correct word choice
and transport
show examples
 system, abuse
science
 to enhance their companies,
For example
, In the UK the health service provides very comprehensive care,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 they
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a developed machines
Correct the article-noun agreement
a developed machine
developed machines
show examples
 as we see,
science
 has a positive effect on the world.
To conclude
, it is frequently said that the principal aim of
science
 is to upgrade
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives, because
science
 is too crucial for
people
 to improve their conditions and
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system,
medince
Correct your spelling
medicine
 and
more
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
feild
Correct your spelling
fields
 like payment processing
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a high rise. I strongly believe that
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 my point of view.
Submitted by alihafiid on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically and coherently presented.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Develop a wider range of vocabulary and use appropriate academic language to convey your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy to enhance the overall clarity and coherence of your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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