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Band 5.5

In many countries government spend a lot of money on arts. However, some think government should spend more on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #government #money #arts #think #health #education
The world has been facing problems from all over sectors
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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health
 and
education
,
people
 argue that national
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 should
be allocate
Change the verb form
be allocated
show examples
 for that. Meanwhile, in some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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government
 intend to be a curator of
art
. I do believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
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mandatory spending for
health
 and
education
,
while
art
 can be
the a
Choose an article
a
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 part of
education
.
Firstly
,
Health
 and
education
entails to
Verb problem
must
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 be
reckoned as
Verb problem
considered
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
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. The disparities among
people
 for
opting
Verb problem
apply
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school or
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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 because the limitation of budgeting should be eliminated by
government
Correct article usage
the government
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, it rambles to see
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 poor
people
 can't derive a high level
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
.
For instance
, in
Indonesia
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Indonesia,
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 there is a
government
 program
Correct pronoun usage
that exhibites
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exhibites
Correct your spelling
exhibits
exhibited
 a
free-payment
Correct your spelling
free payment
show examples
 for all to have a seat
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 national
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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. The
free of charges
Correct your spelling
free-of-charge
show examples
 program had decreased evidently the number of illiterate
people
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
approximetaly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 30%.
However
,
art
also
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
capitivating
Correct your spelling
captivating
 materials that
necessary
Add a missing verb
are necessary
show examples
 for the younger generation.
Secondly
, providing
art
 can be included
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
education
 syllabus. Some
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
said
Wrong verb form
say
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 that learning by doing is the best way of studying. Take history subject as an example, it would be easier for
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 to instil the story of Diponegoro the Indonesian Hero by looking at the
art
 painted by Raden Saleh. Not only count as a new way of study but
also
 it is intriguing material for young
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 never have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opportunity to see a painting that
only
Add a missing verb
is only
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 displayed
on
Change preposition
in
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 the National Palace.
To sum up
, nations all over the globe spend a lot of
people
's tax to acquire
art
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is needed urgently to solve pivotal problems. I believe that to deal with
education
 and
health
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and treat them as a human right with no disparity among
people
 is a priority
while
art
 can be included as a part of studying material.
Submitted by sifa.herdini on

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