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Band 6.5

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The line graph illustrates the proportion of the population in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
, and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 living in urban areas between 1970 and 2020 and gives future
expactations
Correct your spelling
expectations
 for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, all countries showed upward trends until today and continue to
increase
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in cities rest of the given period.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 showed the most significant
increase
Use synonyms
. In 1970, nearly 30% of
people
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live
Replace the word
lived
show examples
 in cities in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, they saw
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in
until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
above 50%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 showed
sharp
Add an article
a sharp
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below 80% in 2023,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
expreinced fluctation
Correct your spelling
experienced fluctuation
 in the same period.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 showed similar
increase
Use synonyms
trajectory
Fix the agreement mistake
trajectories
show examples
 from 18% and 12% to 30% and 25%, respectively between 1970 to 1990.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Thailand
Use synonyms
 remained stable until today, more
people
Use synonyms
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly more than half of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lives in urban areas. Future predictions indicate steady increases for all countries. More than 80% of
people
Use synonyms
 will move from rural areas to
city
Use synonyms
 centers in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and more than half of
people
Use synonyms
 will live in
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 in 2040.
Lastly
Linking Words
, less than 40% of
Thailand
Use synonyms
 citizens will continue to sustain their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
after
Change preposition
for
show examples
 eighteen years
later
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by airbender on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, malaysia, thailand, indonesia, increase, people, city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
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