The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The line graph illustrates the proportion of the population in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Malaysia
,
Thailand
, and
Indonesia
living in urban areas between 1970 and 2020 and gives future
expactations
Correct your spelling
expectations
for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, all countries showed upward trends until today and continue to
increase
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
of
people
who live in cities rest of the given period.
Malaysia
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
showed the most significant
increase
. In 1970, nearly 30% of
people
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live
Replace the word
lived
show examples
in cities in
Malaysia
and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
.
Similarly
, they saw
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
in
until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
above 50%.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Malaysia
showed
sharp
Add an article
a sharp
show examples
increase
and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below 80% in 2023,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
expreinced fluctation
Correct your spelling
experienced fluctuation
in the same period.
Similarly
,
Thailand
and
Indonesia
showed similar
increase
trajectory
Fix the agreement mistake
trajectories
show examples
from 18% and 12% to 30% and 25%, respectively between 1970 to 1990.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Thailand
remained stable until today, more
people
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
to
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
in
Indonesia
and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly more than half of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lives in urban areas. Future predictions indicate steady increases for all countries. More than 80% of
people
will move from rural areas to
city
centers in
Malaysia
and more than half of
people
will live in
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
and
Indonesia
in 2040.
Lastly
, less than 40% of
Thailand
citizens will continue to sustain their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
after
Change preposition
for
show examples
eighteen years
later
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by airbender on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, malaysia, thailand, indonesia, increase, people, city with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
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